We recently opened our Thai bank account, and now have empty bank accounts on 3 continents. Khun Wiyada, a woman from Rob's HR dept, came with us that day to translate & help with the fairly painless process. In France we mucked our own way through an un-good 2+ hours of account opening joys & charades. Just 40 minutes or so in Thailand.
One chair sat in front of the bank employee desk. Khun Wiyada motioned for Rob to take the seat and he did. He’s been here before, he knows what to do. Lots of questions & signing for him since he's the reason we're here. Trailing spouse that I am & Khun Wiyada stood behind Rob while she leaned over him to read papers & translate nearly every question from the bank employee. A few minutes later, the chair at the desk next to ours opened up. Khun Wiyada pulled it next to Rob and motioned for me to take the seat. I motioned for her to do so. She motioned back for me to do so. I motioned back for her to do so... after all, she was doing ALL the work. She was the critical component in the banker/customer/translator working triangle.
I've had several recent scenarios like this. Of course, Rob has been present for all of them so as to make fun of me afterwards. One August morning at hotel breakfast when we came for our preliminary visit, I was walking to our table to take a seat. Due to cross my path was a little, tiny Thai woman with a gargantuan, full tray of hot, hot drinks. Both of her hands were well occupied keeping the thing steady. I stopped & motioned for her to... by all means, go ahead, walk in front of me. She stopped & stood there. I motioned again... PLEASE, go ahead, you're carrying a massive load! She just stood there, unable to put one foot in front of the other. Behind me, Rob nudged me forward on the back so that my risking of her 1st degree burns would sooner be over.
I felt so bad. I had put her in a really awkward position. She had been trained to respect the guest and that was first & foremost. In America where servers, of course, also know to respect their guests, I think 9 out of 10 would have nodded thanks & walked their wide, heavy load past me as quickly as possible. Makes sense in my mind, just like respecting the guest made sense to her. Again, at the bank it made sense to me for laboring Khun Wiyada to take the seat so we could be finished all the sooner. In her mind, I don't know what was going on... we are the guests in her country or Rob is the boss or very possibly manners are just so well ingrained in her... something was going on that did not allow her to sit in that chair.
I've spent enough time in Japan where I've wrestled gracelessly through similar situations. I should know by now that I'm not gonna win such an exchange with an Asian. They're just too good. Flashing back to the near tragedy at hotel breakfast and then seeing Khun Wiyada's growing discomfort while rallying with me in the bank, I finally sat. It’s what you're supposed to do here, though taking the seat may not feel comfortable.
